Saturday 12 October 2013

The Dark Side of the Blog...

Sometimes I wonder whether blogging is a good idea, whether I've opened up the people most precious to me to a whole world of dangers.

They didn't ask me to share their lives, and as much as I love to record our life together I wonder whether doing so in such a public format is sensible of me. If anything was going to stop me from blogging it would be this fear. That I've allowed strangers too much access. 

Obviously I think my children are the best things ever, the most wonderful, the most beautiful and the most perfect. I worry that the kind of people that I want to sheild them from will somehow spot them on here and think exactly the same thing. Am I a fool? Should I stop this? 

I rarely check the stats in relation to my blog, but the other day I thought I'd have a look. This is what I found:


I really don't know what to make of it. Has someone stumbled across us, looking for young pretty girls? What are the xx's? X rated? Kisses? I don't know, but it scares me. I also seem to get a lot of hits from porn sites. Is that something that every blogger has to suffer, or something I'm just unlucky with? 

Usually keyword searches just make me laugh and the crazy and varied ways that people have managed to stumble across this place, but my paranoid side can't help but sound sirens at this. 
I've never named my children here, never discussed where we live, or even named myself fully.  Is that enough?

I need your advice bloggers, your wisdom, your guidance. Should I be doing something more? Am I just being ridiculous? Should I cut and run? 

17 comments:

  1. I'm having this panic at the moment. I've just noticed that I'm getting hits from some sort of adult site, and I'm really worried about it. As much as it's horrible that you're getting these hits too, it at least reassures me that it isn't just me. I have no idea how to stop this though- if anyone gives any tips, I'd love to know!!! xx

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    1. As awful as it sounds Alice, I'm relieved to know that it's not just me too! Really hoping someone out there has a computerised pervert invisibility cloak that I can borrow!

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  2. I don't click on any wierdo sites that keep clicking on me. If they want to boost my pageviews they can carry on but I'm not interested in where I get my hits from if I don't know them. Some of them might even contain viruses.
    I've mentioned my daughter by name once or twice but I won't have pictures of her face. It's hard to know what to do isn't it?
    My search keywords are all relavent to what I do. I think I might be a bit freaked out if I found what you found.

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    1. I think that's a sensible approach, and usually I don't even look at things like stats or traffic sources. Probably the best approach!

      It has made me really paranoid about how people "find" me. I'm going to discuss with Mr Husbandand we'll decide on the next step together I think :) xx

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  3. I don't think you're exposing your girls to any danger Kate - as you say you've kept names etc off the site - at the same time, it's impossible to control who sees your blog, and unsettling to see comments like that. I don't have anything useful to say....just it always strikes me, especially with your writing, that it's such a wonderful way to chronicle a childhood. Horrible to think of that being corrupted, or you being restricted in any way.

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    1. Thank you for your sweet kind words Caz. I think that perhaps it's a stone better left unturned. As you say, it's horrible to feel restricted by something like that.

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  4. I have never experienced such thing but if I were at your place , I might have the same side . Though if you've kept everything within manner & hidden . You don't actually need to worry . So keep calm and carry on!

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  5. No wonder you're panicking, Kate. That's such a horrible thing to find. But I honestly think you're doing everything in your power to keep your girls safe... And like a precious commenter said, it's a lovely way to chronicle their childhood and I enjoy seeing glimpses into your family's life. If it makes you feel any better, I have no idea how these "key words" work. My blog was once found via "prince Charles yellow toenail" which I find mind boggling! I've also had hits from a pornsite, but as disappointing as I find it- as long as I don't click back, I don't really care. I don't know how to stop it, and it seems so common! Just keep going the way you're going, my love. Xxx

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind and lovely comment my dear. I think you're approach is very sensible; don't look; mind unboggled!

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  6. *previous commenter. I'm not that bad!xx

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  7. Oh this is one of the things that freaks me out about blogging. From previous googling after porn site hits on my blog, I found that it doesn't mean that your blog is appearing on the site, it's just a traffic spam thing I think. Sorry, not explaining it well, brain too tired! I can't help with the key words thing I'm afraid, I'm not entirely sure how it works. I think it's wise that you don't name your girls on here or out yourself fully. I go through fits and starts of sharing and then not wanting to share - I never name my little one on my blog but I'm aware I share a lot of photos, and if someone was a proper weird freaky stalker, they could probably learn a lot about where I live etc. As much as I want to believe the internet is just full of lovely ladies (and men), it's hard when you're suddenly shown it's not.
    There is a way you can make your photos uncopyable I think, plus you can always make your blog invite only if you want to be definite about who is reading. I wish that blogger could work the same way as IG and you could be private but people can request to be your 'friend' (perhaps it can, I'm not sure).
    It's a hard one - you're definitely not being ridiculous, because it's about your precious babies. I hope you don't feel you have to disappear, but I guess it's a decision only you can make xx

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    1. Thank you so much for this comment, Helen. I really appreciate it. It definitely makes me feel a little easier to know that this kind of traffic is a general thing rather than site specific. Thank you my dear :) xx

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  8. I often have some very peculiar search terms. I did a post called "A letter to my 15 year old self"...and ever since then I get daily hits from people searching things like "15 year old girl xxx"...It's pretty horrifying :/

    Hayley
    Sparkles & Stretchmarks - UK Based parenting blog
    xxx

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    1. Oh that's awful, Hayley! There really are some revolting people out there.

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  9. It's so scary and sad out there. It's things like this that you shouldn't be scared of but in the end they do get to you. I get scared looking at the search terms that I tend to not. I'd love to know if there was a way to track them to report them x

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    1. So do I! It seems crazy that it this cautious world there is no obvious way. Grrr, Blogger!

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