Today is your wedding day! I am proud and honoured to be your bridesmaid alongside your lovely sister and my darling girl, Biscuit. It seems to have come by in a whirlwind. You met Mix a relatively short time ago, but you knew, and I knew, you'd found the right man for you straight away. You've kissed your fair share of frogs in your time, but let's not talk about that hey? I couldn't be happier that you've found love at last. Mix is wonderful, he will protect you, adore and and take care of you, which is exactly what you deserve.
We first met many, many years ago when you were studying music on the same course as Mr Noir. We've always got on well, in fact I don't think we've ever fallen out! I've probably annoyed the hell out of you at times, but we've certainly never had any raised voices, have we?
You were my one and only bridesmaid when I married Mr Husband four years ago. You held everything together, looked beautiful and even caught my hat when I laughed it clean off my head! You were there by my bedside the day after Biscuit was born, making me tea and making sure I was ok. You're Biscuit's Godmother and you do such a great job. She thinks you're the bees knees! You are one of the few people in this world that I would trust to raise my children if anything were to happen to us.
We've had so much fun together, some amazing times that I will never forget. From chasing buses through London, to climbing up water towers in the dead of night, armed only with helmet torches. We've danced, drunk, scoffed scampi fries and spooned. You can kick like a mule!! We've holidayed together, sneakily half inched bottles of wine together and injured ourselves in various hysterical ways. But most of all we've regularly laughed like we might actually wee.
I love you like a sister. I hope you have the best wedding in the history of weddings and the happiest marriage in the world. Because that's the very least that you deserve. I have so, so many happy memories with you. I just know today's going to be another one to add to my collection.
Here's to you my partner in crime, I love you. LOVE YOU! Now p-p-p-put your teef in and get yourself wed!