Wednesday 7 August 2013

When did this happen?

The other night Mr Husband and I went to see The World's End at the cinema. It was great, I'd recommend it. But it got me thinking, well, I suppose feeling would be a better word. You see, the central character in the film, played by Simon Pegg, is a bloke called Gary King. A local legend in his own right, but one who's (to put it nicely) a little stuck behind the times. We all know a Gary King. All of us.

And despite being a comedy, a really bloody funny comedy at that, it made me start to reflect on the fact that I'm finally starting to feel like a bit like a grown up myself. That might sound like a strange thing to say, I'm in the middle of my thirties, I'm married, I have not one, but two children, a pretty full on, complex job (albeit only on a part time basis) and, ugh, bills to pay. I should already consider myself a grown up, but no. In some ways, until some undefined point fairly recently, I still felt exactly the same way I did fifteen years ago. 

But it seems like people around me have been being sneaky little blighters and have stealthily grown older without my permission. When I think back to my younger days we all seemed so much thinner, some of us hairier (mostly the boys), we could talk enthusiastically all night about things that felt so important, or we'd smoke ourselves thin enough to wear the type of clothes I'd just laugh at now! We'd drink all night then sleep all day. Nothing phased us. We had the clothes, the attitude, the faithful group of friends, we had everything. We were so flippin cool. 

And then, almost without realising it, we drifted apart, some of those friendships, the most important ones I suppose, stood the test of time, some didn't. Even though at one point I felt like the friendships I'd forged would never break apart, some did. 

Nowadays the thought of spending a night in a bar in town terrifies me. The thought of a hangover fills me with dread.  I'm past that point. Now my idea of a great night would involve a big table, a few good friends, some good food, some good wine and a refreshing stroll home.

And you know what? I'm fine with that. I don't miss the old days. If I'd had the confidence I have now, and the body I had then I'd have been dangerous, so I guess, perhaps these things don't collide for very good reason!  I'm happy now, I'm settled. 

Watching that film I realised that I have grown up. I don't miss the life I had, but I maybe, sometimes, I miss the friendships that have got a little lost along the way. 

So, tonight I'm raising a very adult glass of proper wine to the old days.  I'm glad they happened and I'm glad to be on this side of them! 

A strange post, I know I sort of can't help it.  Does everyone feel this way? 

Love, love,














12 comments:

  1. In a word, yes. It's realising that I'm the same age now as my mother was when I was born that makes me think I might have become an adult without quite realising it; she always seemed very grown up to me and I can't quite get my head round the idea that she actually felt as I do now.

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    1. It's really strange to realise that they're not the all knowing beings we assume they are when we're little isn't it? My head can't comprehend the idea that my Mum was sometimes guessing!

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  2. I love this post Kate, it is brilliant.

    Look how flippin cool you were/are!

    I know what you mean and SUCH a good point about the confidence/body thing and things being the way they are for a reason - very interesting theory! :)

    I kind of DO find myself missing the old days sometimes - well not missing them as such, I wouldnt swap now for then - but I guess it kind of makes me sad that my days of drunken shenanigans and spending hours getting ready for a night out and days planning an outfit are well behind me! Ahhh the nostalgia!

    Hayley
    Sparkles & Stretchmarks
    xxx

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    1. That's exactly it!! I do miss them, but then I don't miss them, the thought if never doing that again makes me sad too!!! Oh the nostalgia indeed! Sigh....

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  3. Love this post.. and yes. I don't often 'feel' like a grown up.. more of a really big teenager in the midst of a very adult world doing and dealing with very adult things. It dawned on me a few weeks ago when I was making a decision about getting a tradesman to come and fix something at the house that, hey..we actually own a house. For the first time ever I can't just call my Dad, or call the landlord, or call, well you know, a 'real grown up'. We were the 'real grown ups'. It was a bit of a scary feeling actually and I'm realising that this sounds slightly ridiculous when I type it out, but I've come this far so I'm not going to delete it! lol..

    Better pour myself another 'grown up glass of wine' and drink to it too! xx

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    1. That's not ridiculous at all Aanie! I totally get that! It's such a weird thing isn't it, like seizing control all of a sudden in a world we're not meant to be in control in! I'm dead proud of you! I'd have ruined it all by phoning my Dad to tell him what a big clever girl I'd been!

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  4. I'm still at the stage where somewhere in the back of my mind I know I am a grown up but in actual fact feel very much like I could still well be in my late teens! Having said that though, I too rather like the idea of a table of friends, good food and wine....I guess I'm lurking somewhere in the middle of teen and grown up!

    Lauren x

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    1. The limbo!!! I so wish I was inbetween! But the food and wine are pretty good compensation I must admit :) xx

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  5. God I feel exactly like this... exactly. Thought it was just me lol.

    Sorry I haven't commented in a long time but I am still reading! Hope yo and your family are doing well xx

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    1. Really well, thank you Bel! Really don't worry my lovely, I have been exactly the same, life gets on the way sometimes :) x

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  6. Couldn't agree more! Though I don't think of it so much as growing up, as changing. In my head, I don't feel much different than I did at, oh I don't know, 18ish, but I think differently than I did at 18...if that makes any sense at all.
    And on a less philosophical note, we can't wait to see The World's End-- we're all huge fans of Simon Pegg!

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    1. It's soooo god Taby! Watch it if you can, you'll laugh your head off!

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